Take me out!

" things that put a smile on my face!"



So coming home from school walking down the street, thoughts clouded with meaningless crap like "If I died right now what would I leave behind?" I then Began to list everything that I would leave behind. and Thinking how I would actually manage TO die Being hit by a car is to obvious! Maybe something subtle like I passed a rest home and the had a out break of TB and one of the staff members Stumbled out of the rest home blood crying from her open mouth, she embraces the sidewalk oozing grey chewing gum and broken bottles. I bend down to help her but she Died just as my hand comes to help her up, The sallow corpse give one final splutter and gives out By now I'm dripping in blood and the side walk is bathed in the Red paint from this one girl, with no way to wash it all off I return home but by now the Infection has already spread to me Falling in the door of my house, a small river blood gurgles from my lungs, it's in my hands and all up the walls, Falling to the floor, Dead.


Totally unrealistic but it was just a thought. I had many other thoughts too like why I got a N in art?, why Is the human race adapted to have hands?why do I live so far down the street? why are people egotistical? why are people utter dicks? why are people so un reasonable? why are people even around? why people? why? How can someone Kill another ? How can someone Kill ones self? Why have Emotions? For what purpose?

Sometimes if your being really sterotypical about someone you can already tell what type of person they're going to be! Nobody is special! every human has to fit into some sort of sterotype! No Human or anything else in the world for that matter have a purpose! How can we be alive when there is no purpose to be filled? Everthing happen for a reason just like failure!

I don't take failure very well, I fact I don't take very Kindly to people who say I'm a failure! When people say If they had the chance, they wouldn't kill someone they couldn't kill someone because they couldn't bring themselves to end such a special thing such as life well I could!! LIFE IS NOT SPECIAL NOR IS IT A THING TO BE CHERISHED! We're are all expendable, there is no point to life at all! If we don't even know the meaning as to why we are here! maybe everything is just a Stupid accident that we all came to be here! maybe If you Killed someone you would be doing them a favor that way they wouldn't have to deal with the moral perils of the world!

Sometimes I wonder what It would be like to be a different person like a completely different person you wouldn't be problem free it just depends weather its sickness or weather it was mental Sometimes when I think of thing like that I think of my child hood. I never really had the best child hood in the world (schooling wise), I was always taken advantage of , and for some reason people just didn't like me, that still happens all though now I don't really care as much, but when I was little I never did anything wrong to anyone, so as a result I had quite a lonely child hood It's something I don't tend to talk about much, But even then Even now I still remember how I felt, I still feel it But It's been numbed for a long time. When I was little I was always made fun of because I was really shy, Not personality wise, Because before I went to school I broke my skull and It affected my social skills ad concentration skills, so whenever people bullied me I couldn't really understand what they said or what was going on which made me more upset so I could never actually physically talk to anyone, so I had no friends, except there was this one girl who always said "hi" And I kind of thought of her as my friend even though I didn't remember her name But I did always remember her she made me feel worthy when I was sitting alone under the tree with my books at lunch times.


WOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH TEA TIME~!